“I am a terrible mother.” “I think my friends secretly despise me.” “I’m chubby and unattractive.” Obsessive ideas continue to bother us from day to day after they have arisen. The worm of doubt in our abilities and traits begins to sharpen our intellect with the smallest failure. We have a better understanding of what is truly going on in our heads.
Almost never is what you think is a problem actually a problem. We tend to focus on our thoughts rather than the emotions that drive them.
We are imbued with sentiments of guilt and disappointment, phobias, and unreasonable expectations from childhood, which we ignore and dismiss. It may be far easier for you to convince yourself that you are a nasty person who requires excessive attention from others than it is to confess that you felt this way as a child because of your parents. Similarly, the intrusive thoughts that plague you could be a result of prior stress and trauma.
Here are a few examples of such thoughts you might have, along with suggestions about what event or experience may have triggered them.
- Obsessive thought: “I’m fat and ugly, I need to lose weight or get plastic surgery, otherwise no one will love me.”
What it hides behind: “Exams are on the nose, and I’m very stressed, and I grew up in a house where for me as a girl there was only one role model, and obsessed with diets.”
- Obsessive thought: “Anna didn’t react to me on WhatsApp, but I can see that she reads my messages, “She had to be upset with me.”
What it hides behind: “Because of my upbringing, I have extremely low self-esteem.” That sort of reaction isn’t going to assist me. Anna is apparently up to her neck in them, and they have distracted her, but I don’t care what Anna thinks of me.
- Obsessive thought: “I’m a bad mother since I yelled at my child this morning.”
What it hides behind: “I am a typical mom who is weary and overworked, and I read magazine articles on how to be a perfect parent” There aren’t any perfect parents”.
- Obsessive thought: “I’m not actively participating in this work meeting. Others have to do my job.”
What it hides behind: “I’m in a dynamic and highly important meeting, and the stress reminded me of a teacher who told me I was lazy and didn’t even try to prove myself in class”.
- Obsessive thought: “I shall most likely die as a result of this dreadful pandemic that has ravaged the entire world”. It appears that I am already ill. I’m starting to feel a cough coming on. Now I’m going to die!”
What it hides behind: “I’m going through a terrible moment, lots of uncertain happenings, and my brain is trying to help me out by anticipating the worst, but he’s a jerk”. When I’m stressed, my brain always reacts like this.”
- Obsessive thought: “What I really need right now is a drink”. That’s the only way I can brighten this day a little.”
What it hides behind: “I’ve reached my limit, and the only defense mechanism I’ve ever had is alcohol.” I also understand that alcohol is a depressant that passes for a relaxing. Instead, I’m going to phone my pals, read a book, and take a walk.”
- Obsessive thought: “The person I like stated he likes me too. I must instantly flee as far as possible from him”.
What it hides behind: “My father abandoned my mother while she was pregnant with me, and I don’t trust individuals who say they are ready to start a meaningful relationship with me”
- Obsessive thought: “If this individual does not tell me that he likes me, I will be finished”.
What it hides behind: “I was raised in an environment where I was told that my value would only be found in interactions with others”.
You are not required to dismiss all thoughts. Some of them are quite beneficial. “I can” and “What if everything goes right?” are two of those who should have paid more attention.
We can start living again once we can separate the good thoughts from the ones that keep us back. We can be helpful and efficient, spending more time doing things rather than worrying about them. We might even attempt to change our negative thoughts to positive ones. This is the concept!
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