Severe traumas have the ability to destroy, or “kill” the will. They can also make us stronger by releasing resources for growth, internal transformation and positive transformations. We discuss the process of post-traumatic growth.
We have two choices
A tragic incident is incompatible with conventional conceptions about life, which is why it can destroy the mind on a worldwide scale. The notion of post-traumatic disorder, which arises as a result of a major life shock, was first suggested by psychologists in the 1960s.
Someone suffers and frustrates in such a situation, regressing into the victim’s position and walling himself up alive in the “trauma bunker.” And someone experiences post-traumatic growth, spiritual regeneration, and personality transformation.
Because of the contradiction between what was and what has become, we can rarely return to a fulfilling existence.
We refuse to believe our own eyes and ears, resolutely ignoring the reality of betrayal and loss.
We console ourselves with the fallacious belief that everything that has happened was nothing more than a horrific mistake. We are waiting for the traitor’s repentance, divine providential compensation and the resurrection of the dead.
We can unintentionally pick a technique of avoidance, or rather running away, in order to cope with soul-exhausting situations and turn off the concrete mixer of obsessive thoughts.
We seek new experiences, powerful sensations, extreme relationships, heavy drinking and drugs to distract us from what has transpired.
We fly to the farthest reaches of the globe so that nothing, absolutely nothing, reminds us of the past and what has occurred! We seek resources to cope with hardship, and we eventually realize that we have nothing to rely on but our own strength.
In solitude, the false Self, the false Ego, and affiliation with everything and everyone who cannot be an expression of our actual Self are crucified. We begin to wait for a miracle, a magician in a blue helicopter, to bless the chaos that has arisen as a result of the collapse of the prior existence, the degradation of the old identity. However, the wizard resides within us.
FORMULA FOR SALVATION
In his renowned speech to Stanford University graduates in 2005, Steve Jobs presented three stories about his life. As an example of post-traumatic growth, I’d like to share his second story.
Jobs discusses how, at the age of 30, he was dismissed from Apple, which he grew from a “garage operation” to a $2 billion firm in ten years. Jobs says that going through a public, deafening failure was difficult at first. However, he continued to enjoy his work. And the emptiness and perplexity were replaced with the lightness of a novice.
“I am not what happened to me, but what I will do with it,” is a formula for survival in a disaster situation.
Jobs felt a burst of new energy and ideas after shedding the pressure of being a successful person. According to the smart businessman, he entered the most creative and happiest time of his life at that point. “At the time, I had no idea that losing my job at Apple was the best thing that could have happened to me.” On the example of Steve Jobs, we can see how a new, more beautiful and harmonious existence might emerge from the wreckage of the old.
Seek purpose in your struggle
The key characteristics of “victim” psychology are learned helplessness and future catastrophizing. You can either go into post-traumatic growth or continue to cultivate sorrow and irrigate spiritual wounds with tears for the rest of your life.
“Suffering ceases to be suffering when its purpose becomes evident,” writes Viktor Frankl, a psychologist who visited concentration camps in Nazi Germany and reflected on the experience of captives.
And the world admires people who have persevered in the face of adversity and have been rewarded with strength, wisdom, and insight.
Examine yourself
During the transitional stage, when the old is no longer there and the new is still in sketches, you can go on a journey into the depths of the unconscious, with the help of a professional or on your own, to understand how fate led us to this “catastrophe” step by step. How unconscious complexes shattered perception’s eyepieces, leading to erroneous decisions and behavior tactics.
Viruses and unconscious complexes lead to the ultimate disintegration of our worldview’s underpinnings, resulting in the change of a caterpillar into a butterfly.
Risk readiness boosts psychological ability to face obstacles along the road. Every event improves the system.
The acceptance of suffering, the commitment to faith, and the creation of art all add a spiritual dimension to our lives, leading to personal growth.
An extreme event shatters our life background, destroys the ego, and frees us from the chains that have previously hindered our growth and evolution.
Tests measure our strength, revealing our specific strengths and weaknesses. We start dealing with ourselves, with our strengths and weaknesses, courage and vulnerability. We want to be unique, but in order to do so, we must first understand our past, including our family and ancestral history.
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